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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379843">Allegory</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FruitfulMink13/pseuds/FruitfulMink13'>FruitfulMink13</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>How I Met Your Mother</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:33:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>805</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379843</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FruitfulMink13/pseuds/FruitfulMink13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Warning: I've never seen How I Met Your Mother. This is part of a challenge a friend and I took wherein we would each write about a piece of media that neither of us had any experience or exposure to. This isn't about meeting mothers or likely anything about what the show is actually like. It's just some friends at a bar doing some challenge they don't fully understand. Wonder where I got that from.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Allegory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This will be in screenplay format. I wanted to use fast-and-loose dialogue, as if the characters were interrupting or overlapping with each other, like how a lot of conversations work. However, this clashed with my heavier focus on descriptions and the number of characters at play; the short, punchy dialogue was separated by a mountain of descriptions and actions when I wanted the dialogue to be the star. Rather than make this work, I forced myself to work with minimal descriptions by converting it to a screenplay because if I can't be a good writer, at least I'll be extra.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>MCLAREN’S PUB – NIGHT</p><p>&gt; <em>MARSHALL, BARNEY, ROBIN, and TED were sitting and talking in a small corner booth. Despite the noise, they were deep in conversation.</em></p><p>MARSHALL<br/>(frustrated)<br/>What are we supposed to do with that?</p><p>BARNEY<br/>(nonchalantly)<br/>Hypothesize. Make things up. Change the world. And hey, have fun with it. I’ll go grab some more drinks.</p><p>&gt; <em>Barney pats Marshall on the back and walks off towards the bar.<br/></em></p><p>TED<br/>(taking a drink)<br/>I think China would collapse.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>(confused)<br/>How would whales growing legs lead to the collapse of a global superpower?</p><p>TED<br/>They’re the ones that hunt the whales. They’d want revenge.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>But the hypothetical just says they grow legs, it doesn’t mean they become smart enough to become vengeful.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>Whales are pretty smart already.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>(shaking his head, dejectedly)<br/>Don’t encourage this.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>(shrugging)<br/>Well, what do you think would happen?</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>I don’t know anything about whales. How should I know?</p><p>ROBIN<br/>That is the point of the game. We’re not supposed to know.</p><p>&gt; <em>Marshall leaned back.</em></p><p>MARSHALL<br/>Alright, fine. Okay, whales eat of a plankton. If they can walk on land, they still have to eat small things, so they’d eat bugs.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>I guess that makes sense.</p><p>&gt; <em>Ted took out his phone and started scrolling through it.</em></p><p>TED<br/>Bugs aren’t that similar to plankton though, right?</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>(growing slightly frustrated)<br/>How should I know? What else are they gonna eat?</p><p>ROBIN<br/>Well, they can still go in the water and eat plankton. The hypothetical doesn’t say they lose their fins; it just says they get legs.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>Whales can’t swim with legs.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>How do you know?</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>Okay, I guess I can’t prove that, but it doesn’t make any sense.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>Elephants can swim.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>Elephants aren’t as big as whales.</p><p>&gt; <em>Ted snaps his fingers and looks up from his phone.</em></p><p>TED<br/>Killer whales. They’re smaller and they don’t eat plankton. They eat fish and-and birds.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>So killer whales just become scarier?</p><p>ROBIN<br/>It’s not as big as the collapse of China, but that is a new apex predator. Like an elephant with teeth.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>Elephants already have teeth. I think.</p><p>TED<br/>Alright, so what else is there? Sperm whales are pretty crazy. They fight giant squid.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>How do they change things?</p><p>TED<br/>Well, it depends where they live.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>Okay, so in the ocean, they tend to swim deep where it’s dark and cold all the time.</p><p>TED<br/>Antarctica?</p><p>ROBIN<br/>I was thinking central Canada.</p><p>TED<br/>Let’s roll with that one. What’s different?</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>Marshall shrugged. They’d probably get killed off.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>That’s no fun, Robin said.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>It’s probably what would happen. A lot of whales are already endangered and they don’t even live in the same ecosystem as us. If they did...</p><p>ROBIN<br/>It’s still not fun.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>Fun isn’t the point of the game.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>How is the point of a game not to have fun? What kind of game is that?</p><p>TED<br/>Also Barney did say to have fun with it.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>Exactly, so the answer has to be fun.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>But that changes the entire point of the game!</p><p>TED<br/>If Barney said to have fun, we’re supposed to have fun. He did make the game.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>But what about the logical aspect?</p><p>ROBIN<br/>Barney made the game.</p><p>&gt; <em>Barney returns with several drinks and sets them on the table.</em></p><p>BARNEY<br/>Of course, I did, dropping off several drinks. Why are you guys talking about the game and not whales with legs?</p><p>ROBIN<br/>We got a little distracted. Some of us think the point of the game is to have fun. Others think it’s to be smart and logical.</p><p>BARNEY<br/>(feigning interest)<br/>Interesting. The whales though?</p><p>ROBIN<br/>(insistent)<br/>The game, Barney. Is it supposed to be fun or logical?</p><p>BARNEY<br/>I don’t know.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>How can you not know? It’s your game.</p><p>BARNEY<br/>I didn’t make this game so I have to think. I just say random things and let you guys think.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>So it is about being logical.</p><p>ROBIN<br/>Shut up. So this game was made just so you don’t have to think?</p><p>BARNEY<br/>(offended)<br/>What’s so wrong with that?</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>(frustrated)<br/>It’s dishonest!</p><p>BARNEY<br/>I don’t believe I’ve ever given the impression that this game was anything but an excuse to watch you guys fumble your way through a make-believe.</p><p>MARSHALL<br/>So it’s not really logical or fun, Marshall said.</p><p>BARNEY<br/>Oh, come on, just because something is made for one reason doesn’t mean it can’t be something else. Hasn’t this been a little fun?</p><p>ROBIN<br/>Robin and Marshall looked at each other and shrugged. It has been a little fun, Robin admitted.</p><p>BARNEY<br/>How about you think of a scenario? Anything in or out of this world. What do you say?</p><p>ROBIN<br/>(pauses)<br/>... Sharks with wings.</p>
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